Our first photo together, besides the thousands of wedding photos we took! We were on our honeymoon in Belize. Today is our 6 year anniversary and tonight we watched our wedding video for only the second time since we've been married. Hoping it would be a delightful experience as we laughed and remembered that sweet day, I decided to bring us both down by getting extremely emotional over it all. On my wedding day there was a lot going on besides Dave and I, yet that is what I focused on. When I watch it again, I don't focus on Dave and I and instead I find myself feeling all the emotions that go with the 'other stuff' that was going on. My parents had recently separated and were divorcing, I was leaving an incredible family in Mississippi (the Youngs) and saying goodbye to that chapter of my life, and my mom's health was steadily declining. On top of that, to see both my mom and grandmother (who are now both deceased) brings so much longing from my heart. To be with them, to hear their voices, to be under their authority and guidance...I miss those times. I also found myself grieving over what could have been. My life with Dave is far better than that wedding day, by far. We have had many adventures and still do to this day! Yet I find myself wondering if I made wrong decisions on where to live, what jobs to take, etc. I'm at a point in my life that I'm realizing how quickly time passes. I may not have very long, I might have 60 more years, but either way I know I need to be living out of who God made me to be, or I'm wasting time. I fear that I am not and I'm not sure where to go from here...
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